Life really is like a box of chocolates...
How often have we found ourselves in a relationship, perhaps deep into a relationship, whether a friendship or romance, that we realize is just not where we SHOULD be. It may be what you want but it's not right.
There are a myriad of reasons why relationships don't work. Often times we fall in love with a person and who they are but after spending a great deal of time together (and sometimes if we're lucky a short while), we find things that are absolutely incompatible. Subtle things invade your daily lives. A smirk here and biting quip there. Little moments, comments, shrugs and eye rolls all add up to sadness, confusion and hurt. Without the proper guidance this is a certain recipe for disaster.
There is one source of help, love, strength and comfort that is never failing. There is one person to whom you can turn who will always be there for you any time of any day. The best place to turn is to God and His word.
Psalm 9:1-4; 9I will give thanks to the Lord. A psalm of David.
1 I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.
I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.
2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.
3 My enemies turn back;
they stumble and perish before you.
4 For you have upheld my right and my cause,
sitting enthroned as the righteous judge.
they stumble and perish before you.
4 For you have upheld my right and my cause,
sitting enthroned as the righteous judge.
9 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.
a stronghold in times of trouble.
The back story behind the psalm is that David had been unfaithful with Bathsheba and they had had a son. The son soon died. David was horribly overwhelmed with grief and was reflecting on the sin that caused the entire situation to occur. Knowing that God could and would ease his pain and suffering, he turned to the Lord. The words of the psalmist, David, tell us that no matter what people might say or do against us, no matter the hardship, those who turn to and put their faith in God, will always come out ahead. When we exercise our faith in Him, He will ease our pain and suffering in ways only He can. Though the lessons are often hard and painful, the growth and hope they provide are worth it.
How does any of this relate to chocolate? Well, chocolate can be good and bad. Now hear me out. Chocolate is amazing. Nearly always. But those maple nougat ones are just nasty.
If you look a box of valentine candy, you know, the ones shaped like a heart your closest gal pal or your sweetheart or spouse gave you, filled with wonderful little chocolate goodies that just beckon to you. Eat me! Swallow my goodness! Fill yourself up with me!
Here's what you don't hear them saying:
I'll only hurt you for a little while. Take a Tums, it'll go away...
I'll only put on a pound or two a day if you eat bunches of me. So what if it will take a while to get rid of me?
Oh I know those maple nougat ones are gross but that's life! You can't take a pill or an antacid and get rid of your loved one or friend. You can't go on a relationship diet and rid yourself of pesky pounds (Or can you?). You do, in a sense have to take the good with the bad because you don't always get a guide to help you avoid the nasty candies or the pitfalls of life.
This is where God comes in.
God will allow these pitfalls to happen. Not that the Lord is bringing you to the pit, but He will allow you to experience the pit. Why? Because we learn when we experience hardship! When you touch the stove and get burned, don't you learn not to touch it again? Similarly, when you bite into that maple candy you memorize what it looks like - shape, color, smell - and learn to avoid that one. God will let you bite into it! It's life!
That piece of candy is pretty. It's got a lovely color and shape and it's surrounded by other wonderful morsels. Surely, because it keeps lovely company it too is lovely. Not so much. Once you bite one you don't like you never forget. Once the enemy has burned you, you don't forget that either. God is what is going to get you THROUGH that pit. Rely on Him and your oppressors cannot permanently harm you. Rely on Him and the pit won't permanently scar your heart. Rely on Him and he will not only lead you through it, He will bring you to the other side richer and restored and better than ever. Be faithful, coming to him with praise and humbleness of heart.
All that being said, while we can't control other people and their behaviors and actions, we can control OUR behavior and action. We can control our RE-action to their action. Don't let your feelings or hurt heart lead you to a place He wouldn't want you to be. Don't let your words lash out in pain but rather put your faith in what He will bring you through. When it's tough and painful, ask the Lord for His direction. Have faith in the answers He provides through His wisdom. He will lead you to answers and offer you peace to help you avoid those situations again.
People are going to be in our lives. How well those relationship progress is dependent on from where the relationship grows. If you plant your love in the Lord, nourish it with His word and spirit, your relationship will take hold, flourish and thrive. When things begin to wither from neglect, bathe them in Him. Keep a steady diet of not just immersion in the Word but in His love.
Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Give Him your cares, your worries, your heart. Lean on Him and have faith He will give you the knowledge you need and help you maneuver through it. After all, you were created by Him! You were born again IN him! We are not equipped with the supernatural understanding God has but He will give us what we need to maneuver through any situation no matter how difficult the lesson is to learn. If your relationship isn't founded on mutual respect of the Lord, it may be already on rocky ground. Give it a better opportunity to succeed by remaining faithful to his promises and listen to His voice.
You see, we will encounter trials and difficult things (that gosh awful maple candy!) over and over. Until we learn to keep our sights on the Lord and allow ourselves to learn, grow and strengthen ourselves through faith, we will continue walking those difficult paths. That taste of maple candy will forever invade our tastebuds! The closer we grow to Him and in Him, the more these trials will begin to disappear. Our reactions to difficult situations will begin to change. We react totally differently to them. As a result of our reactions to behaviors that are impacting your relationship negatively will begin to change as well.
Growth is tough. All growth is difficult. Think back to when you were a child. Growing pains affected our sleep, caused us pain in our legs and sometimes our arms and feet. We cried and our parents soothed us with kind words and gave us medicine to help. In the case of our relationship pains, allow God to soothe us with His words and through faith. Allow Him to be your medicine. Yes, growth hurts and He never guaranteed you a pain free life but He can make things better through your faith in Him by giving you the tools to grow and find hope and peace.
Romans 5:1-5
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we
have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this
grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that
suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has
been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to
us.Take the time to be thankful for the trials, immerse yourself in His grace and glory in the hope of what will come.
When people in our lives hurt us we reach for our comfort food. Let God be your comfort food! Reach for His word, wisdom, love and courage. You will learn and grow, be encouraged, find love, acceptance and hope and you just might lose a few pounds for avoiding that box of chocolates~!
